No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
