My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
