That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
