I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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