My liver just broke up with me...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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