I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
