He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
