STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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