Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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