he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
