IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
