at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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