I want to stick my p in your. b.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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