saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
