So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
