i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
