its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My penis needs a shock collar
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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