People in love make me want to vomit
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
