So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
