Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
from now on my penis is your penis
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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