i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize