ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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