is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
