i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
