i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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