dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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