i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize