the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
