True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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