Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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