dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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