didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
