Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
