You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
