We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
