I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
