I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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