The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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