wat bout pragnant strippers??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
