Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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