So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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