is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
