We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you never un-have a 4some
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
