We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
