I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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