Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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