After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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