I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
