Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
