I just saw a hot homeless man
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
