My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize