This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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