just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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