I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
