Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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