But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Nicole vs. Life
I think I am morally bankrupt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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