So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
