I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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