6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
