You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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