so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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