I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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